In this episode, we're talking about Expanding Your Celebration because when you do, you become available to way more joy in your life. You ready? Let's do it.

Hello, you are listening to The Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more so keep listening to learn how you can love your life, both on and off the stage.

Hello and welcome back to the podcast episode 100. I am just getting up for my day and I kind of wanted to try something different and just hop right in to my office and share this download because it's kind of been percolating since last night, and I just wanted to honestly, enjoy the frequency of the celebration of the joy, and I wanted to bring that to the podcast.

I have a couple of different stories, but the emphasis is really on allowing ourselves to celebrate. And honestly, even more than that, really curating the joy in our life. You know, on the last podcast I shared a very in depth walkthrough of how I pivoted my mindset in real time to open up an entirely new frequency with money. And it's been so interesting just holding and maintaining that frequency. And after that money came in, I've made a really conscious choice to just honor and celebrate and be intentional about, again, whether it's finding $11 on the street or it is signing a new $15,000 client, that celebration gets to be the same and I can appreciate the way money shows up for me no matter what.

And so I just wanted to share this story because I think it's so interesting. It's so fascinating when we're really observing our thoughts and letting our thoughts just inform our current paradigms and our current belief systems. Because then, we can understand, oh, what is my current operating system? Like what are the parameters of my current existence that I might not be aware of, and where would I like to consciously change them? Okay.

So when it came to celebrating, again, it was so interesting because we had already decided that we were gonna go on a date. And Terry had unfortunately a wake to go to for a relative of a friend, and I had been inside working all day and it was kind of one of those things where it would've been very easy to say, nevermind. And honestly, my brain, again, as I was saying, I was witnessing my thinking as I was getting ready or kind of feeling like it was like one of those moments where I was on the fence. It was like, eh, I feel like I'm not put together. I'd have to get ready. It's raining. Terry's just getting back and you know, maybe he's too tired. It was like my brain wanted to offer me all of the reasons not to get ready. Okay. And then Terry like, okay, are we, he calls me and he's like, are we still going out? And I was like, uh, I don't know. Let me think about it. And I had to really consciously choose to celebrate.

And so again, the weather, eh, we can put that money towards something else. We don't really need to celebrate. We can celebrate the next time. Also the fact that I wasn't like my hair and makeup wasn't done. I was like, oh, I'm gonna have to get ready. And I saw myself again sort of straddle the decision of are we gonna celebrate or not? And then once I kind of doubled down and I was like, you know what, no, let's go. Even if we just have like something small, I ended up opting in, but I opted into the smallest version possible. It's like, well, we can go and we can yeah, get something small and we don't have to spend that much money and you know, it's not about the money. It was just like such an interesting perspective to have, watching myself start prioritizing bills and other things versus really prioritizing our joy.

And again, I made the conscious decision. I made a reservation. I was like, all right, we're going. And also, it, it was much later than we typically eat. We try to eat early. Um, I. Around six or seven, like done eating by seven, most nights and like this reservation was for like 8:15. I sound like such a grandma, but truly like, it just helps with digestion and sleep and all the things. So there's, there's that. And so again, my mind wanted me, wanted to offer me so many reasons to opt out. And then when I did opt in and I was like, okay, Terry, and we committed and we're like, we're going.

Oh, I totally forgot. One other thing I'll just add, 'cause again, we read cues from other people and we're like, oh, well maybe they don't really wanna go. Terry said something like, okay, will you bring me a jacket 'cause I'm kind of cold. And again, I feel like a passive version of me would've taken that thought and run with it. Oh right, it's too cold, nevermind blah, blah, blah. Like I would've opted out by, what's the word? I would've opted out. I would've opted out by interpreting that his comment meant that he didn't wanna go. And even if that was true, like... You know, how often are we gonna get this moment in time back?

And so as I was getting ready again, I saw myself kind of opting into like the lowest possible experience. I was like, well, I'll just throw something on, or, you know, it doesn't matter. And we're just going out. And I caught myself and I looked at myself in the mirror, in the bathroom, and I said, what are you doing? This is your life, woman. Like this is your life and it is happening now. And you're about to go to one of your favorite sushi places and you're about to celebrate and you're about to see your husband. And I really had this awakening because again, I don't think that we intentionally opt out, and I don't think we intentionally mean to diminish our experience, but it can feel like effort, air quote, "effort" to really do the thing full out. And so I was like, forget that I don't do anything in my life half-ass, and I'm certainly not gonna do a celebration half-ass. I'm certainly not gonna do a date night, half-ass. And I watched myself pivot from, all right, like, well, it's raining. I don't wanna go out. I was like, oh my gosh, am I becoming so LA?? Like I don't go out in the rain. And um, I just went from like, I'll just throw my hair up to wait a second. I wanna look great for this.

And so with within a matter of seconds, I start putting on my full makeup. And in minutes, I feel amazing. And I put my hair up into a nice slicked back pony, and I just take care to put on something that makes me feel good and sexy. And I say, Hey, we're going on a date. Let's enjoy it. And I have to tell you that that celebration really did open up such a portal. For both of us. Because again, it's so easy to feel like the "responsible" thing to do is to put that money away. And believe me, I'm not antis savings here. And I definitely think there's value in honoring your agreements and prioritizing the commitments you've made. And I want you to consider that celebration gets to be one of your commitments. Not only for what it brings into your life, but also to honor the things that are happening and the things that are becoming, because it gives us the opportunity to really anchor into the present, right? Like when my mind is going, well, there's these bills coming up, or Well, I should be putting it towards this or that or, and I'm going into some other moment outside of me, I'm not really stretching this experience of time that's right here, right now.

And I have to tell you, we got to the sushi date. Terry met me from the train and we sat. We enjoyed. We really just luxuriated in the moment that happened. And like, I mean, I have the most amazing husband, but literally mid sushi, like mid, oh my God, I have to stop saying sushi, but literally mid dinner, we hear this song that is just so lovely and Terry's like, get up right now. And I was like, what? And a past version of me would've been so embarrassed, but I'm accustomed to my husband doing this now. He will dance anywhere and everywhere. And he pulls me up and we just slowed, danced and we just slow danced in the middle of the restaurant by ourselves. Like really just enjoying the beautiful life that we've created. Okay.

So this episode kind of has two parts to it. It's like, are you allowing the celebration? Are you slowing down for the celebration? And when you do, are you giving your a yourself? And when you do, are you giving yourself access to the most amount of joy possible? Sort of like, are you squeezing every last drop of joy out and not from lack, not thinking, oh, it's not gonna come again. But just to really savor that moment.

And a second story I have about this is like last night, you know, similarly, it was kind of drizzly, rainy, and just for me personally, I've been clocking that when the weather's not great, my energy kind of dips and either way, I, I ended up going out to visit my mother-in-law who lives a few blocks away, and then on the way home, I called my mom. And I really had it in my mind to buy a lottery ticket. I don't play all the time, but I know I'm a lottery winner, and when I feel the urge to play, I do. And so I'm walking outside. I'm looking for a bodega that has lottery tickets and for some reason, like I literally can't find any. And I'm walking, you know, I'm walk. I walk the 10 blocks, almost 10 blocks back to my place, and then I turned around. I was like, well, I walked down 9th Avenue. I walk, let me walk down 10th Avenue. Either way, I ended up talking to my mom and walking for almost 40 minutes and. I didn't end up finding one single lottery place, and I thought it was so fascinating.

I come home and I say to Terry, I'm like, Terry, I couldn't find anywhere to buy a ticket. And he's like... this is what I love about my husband, is like he will say the most obvious things that my brain just doesn't offer me. And he goes, don't you have that app on your phone? And I was like. Oh my God, yes! I do have an app on my phone. I have an app where I can purchase lottery tickets. And it felt like the most genius thing because I just like, again, some things that are obvious to us are not obvious to other people, and so I was like magical.

And I go and I'm getting ready to take a shower and I go into the bathroom and I'm on my phone and I'm about to add money to the account and I see this button that says $5 on us. And I was like, what? That's amazing. So I click it and, you know, I fund the account. I ended up having so much fun getting these tickets. And again, I was on a walk. I was listening to this video about choosing to be lucky and of course. It could have been very easy for me to go into the place of like, well, I'm not finding any lottery ticket places, so I must not be lucky. And anyways, when you let go of all the chatter and you're just like, I am lucky, I open the app, what do I get a $5 credit? That felt like gold. And it's like, again, when these little moments are happening, are you allowing yourself to celebrate them like they are the biggest deal.

Because then I start going through and I had planned to spend $10 on the lottery. So then now I had $15 to spend in this lottery app, and I'm going through and I'm picking tickets, and next thing you know, I'm looking at the tickets that I ordered. And it's not like the Mega Millions. Now you get two tickets for $10. I had like seven different kinds of tickets, and I'm just looking at this app and I'm like, holy shit, I was just walking around for 40 minutes, couldn't find it. Like I come home, I get this spark of inspiration from my husband to go on the app. I go on the app, instantaneous lottery tickets. Plus a $5 credit. $5 of free tickets, and now I have over seven tickets here in my account.

I literally like unconsciously just it blurted out of my mouth. I went, woo-hoo! And I'm scrolling on my phone like, woo hoo. Like I just went from no lottery tickets to lottery tickets with a $5 credit and not two tickets, but seven tickets. Seven opportunities in this lottery, and access to so much money. And the feeling in my body, it was so pure, it just came out of me. Woo-hoo. And I proceed to take a shower and I proceed to just giggle at the fact that I am like, woo, hooing like a child. And there's like this again, just purity and the excitement and the joy and the like, holy wow, this is my life. And again, when we are thinking that celebration can only be for the big milestones for the achievement, the accomplishment, and we kind of put off the celebration, we really are unconsciously just holding ourselves back from really finding the ways to appreciate and savor our lives.

Okay. So I know these two stories are quite simple, but I thought they were very profound for me in highlighting and emphasizing the way we kind of talk ourselves out of that pure woo-hoo energy. And to just look at the magic of even bringing in a client at $6K, having an $8K week in a business that is now five years old. I could be really like, oh, well that's exactly what should happen, or that's the norm and I can talk myself out of it. Or. You know, that's what I should be doing. Or like I said, with the weather, even like, oh, I don't feel like getting dressed up. I don't feel like putting on my makeup. And again, this is not to say that you have to subscribe to some beauty standard that is not true for you.

But for me, I feel amazing when I get done up, when I have my hair done. I love feeling the romance of being on a date and that romance bleeds into, getting to slow dance with my husband in the middle of a restaurant to a great song. Like if I had sort of cut off the joy or the celebration or minimized what I was willing to do, how I was willing to show up for that celebration... again, it's not that we wouldn't have had a great experience, but would we have had those magical moments because I was feeling romantic because I chose to curate a romantic evening? Would I have Yeah, like allowed myself to be in the pure woo-hoo energy when I get these lottery tickets if I'm telling myself well, you know, it was still a lot of hassle. Or if I'm holding onto the things that inhibit my joy, again, we just miss out on these little moments that add energy to our life and add momentum to our joy. Right.

And so my thoughts for you are this, and you know what I'll close out with is are you letting yourself celebrate or are you talking yourself out of the present moment to prioritize future commitments or obligations? Are you letting yourself just be available for the delight of your life when these little moments happen and when you do, do you savor them? Right? Like I could've like Woo Hooed once and been like, that was interesting. Instead, I got in the shower and I freaking woo Hooed all night long. And then I got outta the shower and I was talking to Terry about all these things that are coming up that we're manifesting, that we're consciously creating. And I just freaking woo hooed all night long. And Terry was not feeling great yesterday, but by the end of our chat, of course, we went to bed feeling so excited by life and so lit up and so happy and joyous.

And then the last thing I'll offer is, you know, I'm sure I've done a podcast on celebrations before, but something that I keep reminding and you know, I'm sure I've done a podcast about celebration before and something that I've been reminding my clients about recently is that celebration is not only for the big milestones, the work achievements, the big things. They can be. And, we also get to diversify how we're thinking about celebrations and how we celebrate. Because again, it doesn't always have to be a splurge meal or you know, a romantic date. We just haven't had one in a while. So I was like, this is the perfect opportunity to do that. And, we really do get to be celebrating the internal shifts and the big wins that we're having with as much tenacity and as much commitment and as much execution. Again, not doing the bare minimum to celebrate, but really letting the celebrations be as full out as we want.

For realizing that you had a tough moment with your partner and it didn't explode into a fight, right? That gets to be a celebration or realizing you, you know, could have stewed in a lot of energy, but instead you gave yourself permission to feel better. That can be a celebration. Going to an audition and being cut and realizing that you weren't devastated for the rest of the day, but instead you were just focused on what you learned from the audition and who you became in the process. Like that is so fricking celebratory.

And might I offer that those internal shifts are worth celebrating even more than the major milestones. Because those are the things that are going to keep you tethered to pursuing your dreams, your goals, your desires with more commitment when you are celebrating the little things on the way, enjoying the process.

So that's what I got for you this week. Celebration, tapping back into the joy and, and really doing that in the present moment. I can't emphasize enough. I am like, I think that's one of the next podcasts to come is like, really being in the present moment and upgrading your assumptions. Because again, if we're in the present and we're worrying about what's coming next, we're, we're unintentionally drawing our energy away from now. So just know your only commitment is to this now moment. What do you wanna celebrate today? And if you're feeling it, just give yourself permission to shout out a little woo-hoo, because I promise it's so much fun. And it will just tap you back into that childlike wonder and awe of being alive. And. That's what I got for you. I'll meet you back here next week. Much love to you.

Hey, I wanna invite you to get started. 'cause if this is blowing your mind, imagine the impact of when we actually work together. You get to love your life as an actor, singer, or dancer, even including auditions. And if that sounds amazing, come join us. Inside of Momentum, you get lifetime access to The Performers Plan, coaching, community, and more. And I will be supporting you the entire way. Go to Kelliyoungmansingh.com/momentum to join us now.